The Scottish National Party tend to throw up a twee, sort of shortbread-tin populist image in the place of an actual political position, but even I was initially surprised when they announced their referendum plans this week.
They're actually timing it for the 700th anniversary of Bannockburn. And they've openly admitted that.
No, seriously. That happened.
The thing is, the SNP are by far the most competent players in the Scottish political scene at the moment. They could peddle any old bollocks and get away with it. And the other thing is that the SNP are very aware of all of that - they know exactly what people think of them. And in this case, they've rather cunningly used that to their advantage.
Y'see, when they say they're lining up the referendum to coincide with Bannockburn, people go "oh, those crazy tartan-lovers, it's just like them to try to base politics on such sentimentalism". They think that, and then it passes, and the SNP get to hold their referendum in 2014, for whatever reason.
You know what 2014 is? No, not just the anniversary of an historical battle - it's also the last year the Scottish government can hold a referendum before the next set of elections. And that's the really crucial thing.
If the SNP lose the independence referendum - which they're currently on course to do - what have they got left? All they are is an independence party. They're a single-issue party. It's in their name, for god's sake. What would they do for the remaining three years of their term if they held and lost a referendum on their key issue tomorrow?
No, they'll want to put it off until the last possible second, just in case. There's the added bonus they get to work on their currently rather negative polling position too. They can't say that though, so they've wrapped it up in a nice tartan bow - and got away with it.
The thing is, the SNP can get away with these kind of shenanigans simply because the opposition are so bad at knocking them down - the voters in Scotland really don't have much of an alternative.
Labour recently elected a new leader, who was and remains so well known to the electorate that there's still a fair percentage who think she's a man. The Liberal Democrats have continued the process begun in Westminster of slowly shrinking into themselves out of sheer embarrassment, as if every weekly spectacle of Nick Clegg doing his "nodding dog from the Churchill adverts" routine at PMQs is literally draining them of any zeal and joy they ever had for the party or politics in general. The Conservatives are non-existent - I know they elected a new leader too, and I try to keep track of these things, but I can't for the life of me think who it is. I know it should be easy, being as the entire Scottish Conservative Party can share a single car to their conference, but I still can't quite put my finger on it.
Contrast this to the SNP, who are projecting their brand so aggressively that you can't help but notice it, even when it's complete crap. This whole idea about the referendum, for example - it speaks volumes that they're getting away with the ridiculous notion that harking back to a 700-year-old battle is a valid modern political platform simply because the only person to make a vocal job of opposing it is David Cameron. And the Scottish branch of the David Cameron fan club could share a bicycle to the conference.
From time to time, Alex Salmond comes out and says something completely nondescript, often an utterly recycled position that he's stated multiple times in the press, but he does it with such conviction and skill - at least in terms of media management - that it catapults him straight to the top of the agenda, no matter how hard his opponents huff and puff. The man is a consummate professional when it comes to playing the media.
If the other parties don't get their act together and learn to play the game, they're going to get left in the dust. Luckily Alex's weird, twee sentimentalism over the referendum date has bought them two years - by 2014, we really need to find someone better than David Cameron to front the "No" campaign, because as hard as he tries, bless 'im, he's never going to make an impact north of the border. A more cynical man than myself might suggest that he's quietly pleased about this, and is actively trying to derail the "No" campaign so he can get Scotland off his electoral plate, the black hole for Tory votes that it is. But in any case, the opposition in Scotland need a hero - and fast.
